I finally “enlightened up” under the “bodytree” on a full moon night in Osho Teerth Park.

I spent the entire night in a full lotus position, meditating on all the women I loved this lifetime… one after another, my “gopis” appeared naked in my third eye… I thanked each one and as I namasted each and every one of them, they each individually disappeared in the very same moment… when the sun arose, I was sitting alone, but not lonely for the first time in my adult life.

This meditation came about after I thought I had finally met the woman of my dreams at a Plaza Dance Party.

Our eyes met, we danced the night away… we ended up at her riverside flat.

I had that soul mate feeling in my heart… could this finally be the one… she said she felt the same way… as we looked into each other’s eyes, we felt our two hearts beating as one. This is it.

After a long night of making love, I noticed a photo of another man on her night stand by the bed. I began to worry.

“Is this your husband?" I nervously asked.

“No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to me.

“Your boyfriend, then?" I continued.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at my ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" I inquired, hoping to be reassured.

“No, no, no!!!" she answered.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" I demanded.

"That's me before the surgery."

Love, KP

P.S. This is AMAZING! Until now I never fully understood how to tell the difference between male and female birds. I always thought it had to be determined surgically... until now.

Below are two birds. Study them closely... See if you can spot which of the two is the female. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills.

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High Friends, Magic. Concentrate and keep looking long enough…and you will see me, Krishna Prem, as a wild animal in a past life.

In this very lifetime, I just arrived back home in the Osho Meditation Resort in Poona, India. It was not so easy this time around…it took a “weak” to let go of my adopted hometown of “Amsterdamned” and say hello to Poona… but now that I have unpacked and played an hour of tennis and sat in the Osho Auditorium, I feel more grounded.

Right now the resort is filling up…the pool is heated, the Osho Auditorium is cooled…and in the brand new cappuccino bar, today’s gossip, tomorrow’s gospel, can be heard just above the laughter… the Osho Meditation Resort remains a meeting place of friends. Come when its easy, when its right… for me the word “and” comes to mind… its no longer, Poona or Munich, its now Poona and Munich… the feeling now in the resort… for me that is… is that you can take a “fool” course meal of let go and meditation to go back home with you.

So from one animal to another… love, kp

An elephant asks a camel: "Why are your breasts on your back?"

"Well" says the camel, "I think that' s a strange question coming from somebody whose dick is on his face."

In those whom I like,
I can find no common denominator;
in those whom I love I can:
they all make me laugh. 
- W.H. Auden

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I first met Osho on Valentine’s Day in 1973 at a meditation camp in the Indian desert. At night, I slept on the ground just outside the room where He was staying, and, as I recall, the mosquitoes that kept me company were bigger than my consciousness. How I got there is a strange story. In fact, you could say I got there courtesy of the US Army. I’d just arrived in India after a five-year fight with the army about Vietnam.

I did not want to fight the Vietnamese, the army wanted me to fight, and the only fight I was willing to fight was against my own army. So we went through the whole process called Court Martial and it was very difficult. It took five years for the army to give me an honorable discharge, and to this day I am proud of what my walking papers say: Michael Mogul is unable to adjust to the military lifestyle. You got that right, guys!

I took my discharge and went to London, England, where the only job I could get was as a bartender. Many of my costumers were beautiful people – guys I had a lot of respect for, guys who had fought in World War II and had half their faces blown off. You could still see the burn marks all over their bodies. I was jealous that they were willing to fight for their country, and the secret of my own discharge went deeper and deeper, the misery went deeper and deeper, and one day I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I got really drunk and got on the first plane that was available. That plane took me, on a one-way ticket, to Mumbai, India. It wasn’t quite as accidental as that, however. When you work in England until two o’clock in the morning and you still want a bite to eat, the only restaurants that are open are Indian restaurants. So I ended up making friends with Indians and loving the food. That’s how I chose Mumbai. That’s how I got to be sleeping outside Osho’s door.

In the morning, Osho sat in a chair just in front of me, dressed in a simple white robe. My first thought was: how can a man have such so much strength and lightness at the same time? I remember instantly falling in love with Him while not exactly feeling great about myself. My dark side, my inner secret, was killing me. Out of the blue, Osho looked at me and said, “The revolution is inside yourself.”

Up until that moment the revolution had been outside. The enemy was outside, the army was outside, my girlfriends were outside, life was outside, and I hated it all. And when Osho said that, it was like something went off in my head. I knew that I could work on myself, that I could drop the hate I had toward life. I could drop the hate I had for myself.

(My War with Me was first published in the Osho Viha Connection)

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A friend of mine named Disha just left her body suddenly at the age of 36. The first word out of this great meditator’s mind was “SHIT”.

Its simply not easy writing a light hearted newsletter whose motto is to “be a joke unto yourself” when a young friend dies…yes maybe I laugh out loud in life’s face, but death simply just doesn’t turn me on. What did turn me on was the fragrance that was somehow released when Disha left her body. It was exquisite and full of abundant love. All over the planet Disha’s friends connected and cried and celebrated together. Her death took us all deeper into our own lives.

Something from her will, which was read by Rafia at her death celebration helped me to breathe again, “In case of my death I wish my body to be cremated with a joyous gathering of my friends… with lots of music, creativity and meditation. Bhakta can choose the music I love and if there is time and friends around, I like the idea of my casket being painted by all my friends. Spend money from my bank account to make it a yummy, abundant and aesthetic party.”

I first met Disha as an eight year old little girl, full of love and unawareness, in Poona. Disha had met another little girl in the first day of public school in Germany… and as the story goes, when her mother Nandan asked her what she learned in school today, Disha said, I met a friend in school who is alive and fun and is dressed in orange and who has a picture of Osho around her neck, and I want you take me to India right away to meet this Osho.

Disha took sannyas…became a friend of Osho…even before her mom.

Over the years, I saw Disha turn into a woman and a friend of mine… in the Path of Love group, she was even my “therapist” … never “the rapist”… ever so loving and laughing at and with me… not that I would have minded being raped by her.

When the group was over… and we were no longer therapists or participants, simply friends deep cleaning the group room for the next "game" to begin, I remember a moment that I will always cherish… a moment when 100 friends worked and laughed together as human beings, not human doers… therapy was not happening, cleaning was not happenings… just life, love and laughter erupting in joy.

Giggling, Disha asked me if I would like to staff the next Path of Love group. Instead of saying yes (which I what I later did and loved), I answered that in the moment I didn’t have plan… actually I cracked a joke… I said, “Disha, how do you make God laugh?” When she said I don’t know, I said, “Tell Him you have a plan.”

Disha howled out loud… and corrected me… she said, “Make that Tell HER you have a plan.”

When I turned 25 years old as a sannyasin, I was now about Disha’s body age. I threw a party at the Holiday Inn Hotel in Poona proper, and invited 500 of my best friends… including you… to my birthday bash. As part of the evening’s entertainment, I came out of retirement and performed with the Spice Boys rock group one last time… I was known as Old Spice. Then as a surprise special guest, my good friend Abhijat arranged for Disha to serenade me with her sexy, leggy rendition of “I’m your Barbie gal.” I nearly creamed in my pants.

For me, sannyas has always been a game of leapfrog… one minute Krishna Prem is hot, the next minute Disha has a moment and leaps over me… Disha is one of my favorite frogs in this, our extended family… I am touched by her love and her longing… and when this little frog said Shit, Disha leaped over me and melted in love and aloneness into existence.

I love you Disha whether you are here or Here… thank you from the bottom of my heart… what a dish… you touched so many hearts… love, kp

If you want to know more about Disha, two friends of Disha put up websites in her honor…I was personally amazed at the amount of life energy surrounding her death…

Check out our Disha and her extended family http://www.rupda.com/disha/ and http://www.otoons.com/gossips/disha.html

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In the introduction to the reprint of Osho’s book The Goose Is Out, I wrote about my evolving understanding of this famous Zen metaphor.

When I was a young man and had never been kissed, I was in love with America’s favorite pastime -- baseball. The score was tied 8-8 when the game was called because of darkness, and I suddenly realized I was in deep trouble on the home front.

By the time I made it home, dinner was well over. My older sister Margie met me at the front screen door and said, “Dad wants to see you in his room right away.” As I struggled to get past her she whispered in my ear: “Your goose is cooked.”

And even though my virgin ears had never heard this expression before, I knew exactly what she meant. Older sisters are wicked Zen Masters.

Years later, long after my dream of playing baseball for the Boston Red Sox had gone up in smoke, I fell in love with another Zen Master, Osho, who gave me the same message with a slightly different twist: “Your goose is out!”

You see, there is a beautiful Zen story about a goose that’s put in a bottle when it is very young. It grows up in the bottle and eventually gets too big to take out. The koan which has been driving Zen monks crazy for the past several hundred years is: How do you get the goose out of the bottle without either killing the goose or breaking the bottle?

Now, since you are probably not a Zen monk, you may very well answer, “Who wants to get the stupid goose out of its bottle anyway?” Or, “Hey, to hell with the bottle, let’s put the goose in the freezer and eat it for Thanksgiving.”

Okay, I can see where you’re coming from, but permit me to suggest that you may not be grasping all the implications of this deeply significant koan.

You see, the goose symbolizes your consciousness, your free spirit, your ultimate reality, while the bottle represents your mind. In other words, this koan is saying that your consciousness is trapped inside the mental structures of your mind, and if you ever want to experience the ultimate freedom of pure consciousness, pure meditation, pure liberation, then you need to find a better answer to the question than serving up roast goose for dinner.

For example, let’s take a look at the story of how Nansen, a very famous Zen Master, dealt with this question. The tale goes like this:

The official Riko, once asked Nansen to explain to him the old problem of the goose in the bottle.

“If a man puts a gosling in the bottle,” said Riko, “and feeds it until it is full-grown, how can the man get the goose out without killing it or breaking the bottle?”

Nansen gave a great clap with his hands and shouted, “Riko!”

“Yes, Master,” said the official with a start.

“See,” said Nansen, “The goose is out!”

When I first heard Osho tell this story, I got it -- instant Zen.

My sister was wrong. My goose isn’t cooked, my goose is out!

For the longest time after this major spiritual realization I thought I was enlightened. It took me a while to realize that Osho is the one who is out, while Krishna Prem -- that’s me, Margie’s brother -- is back in the bottle every time I get my buttons pushed or strike “out” with the ladies.

Osho is out. Most of the time, I am in. But I don’t feel bad about it. I am in a love affair with my Master. And when I look into Osho and I see his freedom. I feel my own potential to be free -- and sometimes get a taste of it, too.

On my most recent trip to America, my sister Margie and I drove back to the home we grew up in. We were both “big kids” by that time -- our father had long ago left his body.

As we pushed open the old screen door, I turned to Margie and asked with a smile, “If Dad were alive today, how do you think he’d feel about me meditating in India, so far away from home?”

Margie laughed and said, “Your goose would be cooked.”

This time I had the right answer. I clapped my hands and shouted, “The goose is out.”

She gave me a kiss on my balding head and said, “Go back to India. You’re crazy!”

Soon afterwards, Margie also left her body, struck down by cancer. Her last words to me were true to her never-to-be-surrendered role of big sister: “Grow up.”

Funnily enough, Osho’s last words to me were: “It’s not my responsibility that you get enlightened. It’s your responsibility.”

Which just goes to prove that elder sisters and Zen Masters never give up -- fortunately.

I hope you love this little book enough to use it as a signpost, to look inside yourself, to check out your own goose.

Is it out?

Are you free at last?

As I grew up, I realized I gave up playing sports mainly because I simply forgot how to “play”… my brother Brian reminded me one day of our childhood motto, "the brother who has the most fun wins"… in that way there is a very good chance that everyone wins… At that moment, well into my forties I took up the game of tennis, or as we call it at the Osho Meditation Resort, Zennis, the inner game of tennis.

However shit happens and one day, I complained to my friend, "My tennis elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." My friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00."

I figured I had nothing to lose, so I filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, I poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which said the following: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, I began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. I decided to give it a try. I mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from my dog, and urine samples from my wife and daughter. To top it off, I masturbated into the concoction.

I went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its lights, and printed out the following analysis:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using drugs. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better."

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I have great eyes... I can see clearly now... As I am a spiritually advanced seeker, I can even see the future as if it is right now... even in my dreams I can do it... for example, here is a dream I will be having thirty years from tonight.

In my dream, Ma Deva Coconut and Ma Paris Hilton, two 'senior' widows, are talking.

Paris: "That sexy enlightened humble Krishna Prem asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Coconut: "Well, I'll tell you. He showed up at my room in the Osho Guesthouse punctually at 9 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine Armani three piece robe, and he brought me such beautiful flowers! Then, he took me out for dinner at Zorba’s Restaurant, and such a marvelous dinner it was lobster flavored tofu, champagne, dessert, and after dinner drinks. Then we went to see a show in the Osho Multiversity Plaza. Let me tell you Paris, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then, we came back to his room in Osho House and he turned into an ANIMAL.

Completely crazy, he tore off my expensive new Prada robe, and had his way with me two times!"

Paris: "Goodness gracious! So, are you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"

Coconut: "No, no, no, I'm just saying, wear an old robe!"

I am pleased to say as a mature meditator, I am now celibate three weeks a month... to understand my personal growth here is a recent article first published in the Osho Viha Connection Magazine.

From Supersex to Consciousness
    By Krishna Prem (with a little prompting by Ma Prem Lolita)

What is it about Krishna Prem that makes me want to wear the right underwear just to share pizza and beer and help him get a handle on his writing project? I knock on his door and enter the mellow atmosphere of his room in the commune, situated in Pune’s Upper East Side. Hearing his voice of welcome (“Hi Girl!”), I know it is because 22 years ago we met in the California desert and the sweet flirtation has never stopped. Krishna’s playfulness simply allows me to be relaxed around him. In fact, had it ever become a “let’s go for it” situation, he would have been afraid. That’s the kind of guy he is.

Lolita: What is behind your nature? I mean on an earthly level.

Krishna: I feel blessed. My mother left her body when I was one year old, actually, before I was one... The good news was that at that moment I had four sisters old enough to be teenage mothers. I feel blessed that I had so much young sisterly love in my life; from the very beginning I’ve been in love with women. My fear still centers around what I’d do if one wanted to take me home forever, but I’ve never been confused about loving women. It’s great not to have a mother... you know what I mean?

Having no mother changes many things in your conditioning. For example, I was raised by one sister and my father, and as a child I would watch them fight and then go to separate rooms. In my world, fights didn’t resolve with sex. Now some of my friends say that the best sex is after a fight. I don’t know. It doesn’t happen like that for me.

Lolita: Is there a “best sex” for you?

Krishna: Everybody has their own formula about sex. Sex is sex is sex. Here’s where I feel really blessed. In this life, sex has been my pay in our “commune play”... to the point where I have no fantasies left. And that’s really a major thing for a man. So, in fact, I’m overpaid.

Lolita: Are you sure you have no fantasies left?

Krishna: Thank you, Lolita. I want to feel that way, but in fact I’m feeling human again as you ask me that question. It’s an old pattern of mine to paint life working, so that I feel I have something to share about sex. Or even love for that matter.

Lolita: So say something straight right now.

Krishna: I fell in love with a Master who is in love with women. There is simply no way I would have had so many lovers without Osho. I knew it was a blessing...all these beautiful women who came to Him... It wasn’t like I attracted them. He attracted them. In my whole life I never looked in the mirror and said, “She needs me.” When I met Osho, I met five thousand buddhas who looked like sisters to me!

One deceptive thing about me is that I look like a man, but I’m not so sure. Having been born in a family with so much female energy, sometimes I act like a woman. For example, when the going gets tough, I go shopping! But a long time ago I decided I was not willing to make the same “mistake” as my father, who had a knack for creating a rival sibling every three times he made love. So, I got my tubes tied and went to bed with all of my sannyas sisters.

And through this abundance of women in my life (due to Osho), and through my acceptance of women as friends, I’ve reached the psychological highlight where it’s okay if I’m a bad fuck! I wish I could say that sex has dropped me. In fact, it hasn’t. And to balance this statement, I also have to say that sex is not my boss anymore either.

Lolita: We’ve all heard that a man thinks about sex every three minutes, and a woman every six. I am wondering how it is for you at this point.

Krishna: Well, Krishna is up to four minutes now! As a young man I used to be hard before my female friend knocked on the door. Now I get hard after she leaves. In between these two experiences is a moment of balance. In those moments, I celebrate with a cup of tea and a cuddle.

I guess every man in midlife asks himself, “Do I miss the drive?” The answer is yes. My sexual drive is no longer a primal scream. Now sex is as much a thank you as a tension reliever.

Lolita: And what about the fear around relationship?

Krishna: It has taken my whole life to understand this – that women want a main course from a man. They want to be taken seriously. They want steak and potatoes, and all I could ever be was a friend; I could only offer tiramisu. Now I understand.

I’m in a relationship right now. Her name is Jwala, which means fire. This relationship is burning me up. It scares me. My beloved was brought up by four brothers and no father. And that’s where we regress, directly into two kids that need each other.

The difference I see between sex and relationship is that relationship puts me in the unknown. Right now love helps me to live there – otherwise I’d run.

Lolita: Is superconcsiousness awakening for you?

Krishna: It’s easier for me now to be superconscious than sexy. In fact, as I am watching myself say all this, I can hear myself telling all the women I’ve been with: Thank you. And to all the women who said no: I’m coming back as a blonde Gina Lollobrigida (Osho’s favorite) in my next life – I won’t be available!

As one of Osho’s friends who still lives in Pune, in the resort itself, I find it difficult to use the word “superconscious” without thinking I am competing with the Master. But if superconsciousness means being aware that you’ve been touched by the Master and his female disciples, then this does describe me, and I feel grateful.

And I also feel quite mature, even though this expression grows out of a history of being premature all my life. But who I am now is not interested in being premature or mature. Now in my life I’m always watching the point where I tip, looking for the place where I am neither one. This is what I call aloneness. Ironically, sex is not my door to enlightenment, but my door to aloneness. It is no longer a biological thing, but a way of getting into my aloneness. Sex has helped me to be alone.

When I speak about sex to friends now, the conversation has just as much to do with the peaks and valleys of relating as to wrestling with the eternal esoteric question of tits and ass. The beloved helps me to fall in love with myself as well. And I am still thrilled to say that I didn’t learn all my lessons about being a man on the football field – I’d rather touch you than touchdown!

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The photo above has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels with patients at the world renowned Ruby Hall Clinic. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. Although the dolphins are identical, a closely monitored scientific study revealed that a person under stress will find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between the dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a significant amount of stress. Look at the photograph. If you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a well deserved vacation at the Osho Meditation Resort...

The "in" season has just begun

In Ibiza, Spain, Zorba is celebrating all night long... In India, the rains have begun preventing easy movement and the Buddha suggested his monks stop and go "in" for the season.

This reminds me of Osho’s gift to us of Zorba, the Buddha.

"Meditation is the bridge between Zorba and Buddha. Once the bridge is complete and the Buddha descends there will be a tremendous change in your Zorba - all that is ugly will be gone, and all that is beautiful will be beautified tremendously.

The most significant approach is to relax and be in love with your body, with your heart. Don't create any conflict, bring them closer - because centuries have made them so unbridgeable. And as they come closer and become one you will not be just a Zorba or just a Buddha, you will be Zorba the Buddha. You will be a total man. And in your totality is beauty, is bliss, is truth.

Relax into your being. Don't have any ideals, don't try to make something out of yourself, don't try to improve upon God. You are perfect as you are."

- Osho

In closing, I just want to end by saying I love "This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it." from you.

If you haven’t heard back from me as of late it is because my computer crashed recently. When my computer asked me to enter my password, I entered correctly, "P-E-N-I-S".

My computer replied: "PASSWORD REJECTED, NOT LONG ENOUGH"

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I am unpacked and here now in my adopted home town of "Amsterdamned" … after Poona, it’s not easy living in the world...take dinner for example, first the shopping followed by the cooking… eating takes no time at all... now i have to wash my own dishes… all I am saying is that i am such a commune baby… I mean an Osho Meditation Resort baby… plus, I am a nobody here in Amsterdam... sometimes I’m more "in" in the world then at the Osho Meditation Resort.... funny eh?

Way back when in the here and the now of ’73, the first thing I remember Osho saying is "be in the world, but don’t let the world be in you." …this has never been my strong suit. As soon as I hit the West, I am immediately back in it. My witness which has been fattened up in the Osho Auditorium seems to shrivel up and die in the face of the West and CNN’s version of the truth. Right now, fresh in the west, it is not easy for me to move in the crowd and remain alone… to be alone without being lonely.

Basically my witness went south when I hit the west. I got pretty down on myself… at first, I tried to blame it on jet lag, but it went on too long for that. I came across a quote from Osho that is beginning to get me out my funk. It is from The Dhammapada Vol 5 Chapter #5 Love Knows Nothing of Duty:

"Each child is born beautiful, and then we start distorting his beauty, crippling him in many ways, paralyzing him in many ways, distorting his proportion, making him unbalanced. Sooner or later he becomes so disgusted with himself that he is ready to be with anybody. He may go to a prostitute just to avoid himself."

"LOVE YOURSELF..., says Buddha. And this can transform the whole world. It can destroy the whole ugly past. It can herald a new age, it can be the beginning of a new humanity."

"Hence my insistence on love -- but love begins with you yourself, then it can go on spreading. It goes on spreading of its own accord; you need not do anything to spread it."

"LOVE YOURSELF..., says Buddha. And then immediately he adds: AND WATCH.... That is meditation, that is Buddha's name for meditation. But the first requirement is to love yourself, and then watch. If you don't love yourself and start watching, you may feel like committing suicide."

"Socrates says: Know thyself, Buddha says: Love thyself. And Buddha is far more true, because unless you love yourself you will never know yourself -- knowing comes only later on, love prepares the ground. Love is the possibility of knowing oneself, love is the right way to know oneself."

- Osho, The Dhammapada Vol 5 Chapter #5 Love Knows Nothing of Duty

Plus, Jalaluddin Rumi reminds me so well in the poem:

The Guest House

This being human is the guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
a momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes
because each guest has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

                                     - Rumi

I’ll leave you now with an old story about myself before the ever present witness became apparent to me… in the days way back when if you asked me who am I, I would definitely not say I am that, more likely I would say to you that I am a cowboy.

An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle so I guess I am."

She said, "I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."

A little while later, a couple of tourists sat down next to the old cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian."

Welcome to the first edition of The G.U.R.U. Newsletter!


High Friends,
I just updated my website geeyouareyou.com… which actually stands for "Gee, you are you" or G.U.R.U. for short…check out my website to see pictures of me and Osho… as well as personal articles and cosmic jokes.
For over thirty years now, I have been spending six months a year at the Osho Meditation Resort and six months a year in the West. While in India, I have always stayed in touch with my family and friends first through letters… you remember stamps, don’t you? And then by email. Now I am beginning a monthly newsletter whose sole aim is to make me a "joke unto myself".
"Buddha’s message in short is: Be a light unto yourself. And mine? Be a joke unto yourself!" - Osho.
Love,
kp

Following is an article I recently wrote for the Osho Viha Magazine.

When I grow up, I want to be a kid.
By Krishna Prem (Michael Mogul)
My body just turned sixty years old.
Thank heavens I am not my body. Or am I?
In any event, when my body was just shy of thirty I met Osho and I immediately began growing up instead of growing old.
A nice trick, picked up from a master magician.
At that time my brother Brian met his guru, Dr. Milton Erickson, of hypnosis fame. As brothers, we were always competitive, so why not have a friendly banter on whose guru knows more?
Certainly Osho won, in my humble opinion, hands down.
But one thing Milton Erickson said to my brother always stayed with me. Milton Erickson said to my bro, "There are only three kinds of people on this earth: little sized kids, middle sized kids and big sized kids."
For thirty years now, I have looked upon modern man trying to prove my brother’s guru wrong, and shit if that guy didn’t have something to say.
But after exhausting myself trying to grow up, I stumbled on an original answer.
Me.
Me-plus-nothing.
Me… period.
Not a "somebody" that grows up or down, although I guess you might call me a "nobody."
In a humorous, funny sort of way, I have given this new "me," or better yet, this new "not me," the nickname Turiya.
As Osho has explained many times in his discourses, the word "Turiya" refers to the fourth state of consciousness.
The first three we all know: waking sleeping and dreaming. Turiya simply means "the fourth," a humble kind of name, but with big implications, because it refers to the cosmic consciousness inside us all.
So I am now happy to announce that I have discovered a fourth kind of kid that I have nicknamed "my Turiya-sized kid."
Yes I am still a kid, but a Turiya-sized kid. A kid who somehow "grew in," not a kid who grew up or old.
It’s nice to be me now.
I am no longer growing.
I am no longer maturing.
It’s simply OK.
As my friend Rahasya once said to me before she left my adopted home town of Amsterdam for Mill Valley, "I don’t know and I don’t need to know."
When Rahasya said this to me, almost matter-of-factly, over a beer at sunset in the Vondel Park, the penny dropped for me.
I actually don’t know what she meant, but what I heard, in my inner gut, was, "Krishna Prem, when are you going to stop giving up the here-and-now, while you wait for a rosy future?"
And if you don’t understand my gibberish, well, the old KP might have been sad about that, seeing how grown-up language just can’t convey what he really means.
But, as my Turiya-sized kid, I only need to throw you a bucket and spade and say, "Hey, there’s plenty of room in the sand box."
That’s how I feel. I am just a kid playing in the unknowable sand box.
I wear many hats of a big-sized kid. I pay the rent. I drive a car. I act mature. But as soon as I can, I take my hats off and relax.
In a sense, my ego is a hat – a hat that is really useful and practical these days as a bucket to fill with sand to make castles with.
What size kid are you? One that’s busy growing, busy postponing, waiting for the golden future, or the one that knows how to play?
Love,
Krishna "The Turiya Sized Kid" Prem

Ps … It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. Or as George Bernard Shaw put it, "We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."
"And remember, and always keep it in your heart: truth, love, life, meditation, ecstasy, bliss, all that is true and beautiful and good, always exists as a paradox: in the world, and not of it; with people, yet alone; doing everything, and being inactive; moving and not moving; living an ordinary life, and yet not being identified with it; working as everybody else is working, yet remaining aloof deep down."
"Being in the world and not of the world, that is the paradox. And when you attain this paradox, the greatest peak happens to you: the peak experience."
- And the Flowers Showered Chapter #8 Tozan’s Five Pounds

Finally, I want to leave you with old joke about myself . . .
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice… The Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ’nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

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“Animals are Us”

Magic.

Concentrate, keep looking long enough…, and you will see me, Krishna Prem, as a wild animal in a past life.

Hello beloveds, this is a sample newsletter for your enjoyment. If you are already a newsletter subscriber, please feel free to move on to my book concept. The book, Gee You Are You, is the vegetarian ‘meat and potatoes’ behind the newsletter. If, however, the newsletter is new to you, or you have missed a newsletter here and there, simply go to the bottom of this sample newsletter and pick a number… its easy and fun to have a laugh on me. 

I can’t help myself. I am an animal… still now, but especially in my past lives… in my most recent past life as an animal, I was a giraffe. Being so tall, it was natural for me to learn the art of witnessing. 

As a dog, I learned to express my feelings..

As a penguin, I learned that when I go unconscious, even for a moment, I was subject to a zen hit by the master... I learned very quickly that a dunk in cold water is a sudden wake up call.

So remember, be courageous… love is, Krishna Prem

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